Round Two

I know! I'm bad! It's been over a week since I updated, I think!

Sorry! It kinda annoys me when people tell you to read their blog and then they don't update it. So I'm sorry.

Anyway, I don't have much to say. I'm leading worship again on Sunday. I'm excited. Really, I am. But, of course, I'm getting attacked big time this week. How do I know? Let's see. I found out Monday that I would be leading on Sunday. Since then:

1. A cold came on
2. 2 friends told me things that really could be distractions for me if I let them
3. I'm having trouble focusing on prayer and Word time
4. I've been tempted to slip back into old bad habits

Ahh! Sometimes I wish I could just grab satan by the neck and shake him and say, "Leave me alone!!!!" But satan is a liar and here's what I know to be true. Satan doesn't attack anything that isn't a threat to him and his plans. I had a cold the last time I led worship and it's really not a big deal. I understand that I can't solve my friends' problems, but I can pray for them and be supportive. And I am not the person I used to be. So those old tricks are useless.

Sunday is going to be great! But not because I'm going to do an awesome job. Sunday will be great because God is great and we are going to following His leading. P. Chuck will preach and people will hear the Word of God and be given the choice to act on it. In that case, how could it not be awesome?

Community

So this post is going to have nothing to do with worship ministry, but it's on my mind, so I will share.

I talked to 2 friends last night that I graduated with from USC and then lived with for a year after graduation and they both said the same thing. Both are living in places other than LA now and enjoy what they are doing (one is in grad school and the other is working), but they both miss the community we had here.

You see, we were all in a campus fellowship called TCF (Trojan Christian Fellowship) at USC and one thing that TCF does REALLY well (or did when we were there) is gives the space to have really good community. We were taught how to have good Christian community, how to resemble the early churches in Acts and my class had that. We did ministry together, prayed together, studied the Word together and had LOTS of fun.

Now we're kinda all doing our own thing and groups of 2 or 3 are still keeping in touch, but for the most part our lives are separate.

After talking to my friends last night, I realized that I miss that too. Don't get me wrong. My Christian community right now is at HOPE's House and I love the people there and I'm getting to know people slowly. But they don't really know me. We don't all live in really close proximity, don't hang out at each other's houses, don't have random 7-11 runs. Am I too old for all that stuff now?

What makes things harder is the fact that many of the people who I'm around now went to CSUN together, were in gospel choir together, etc. They have memories together. And they aren't exclusive or anything, but I still feel the disconnect a bit.

I don't think that all Christian communities need to be like TCF. It's a college community, which makes it the way it is. But I feel like there should be a standard for Christian communities. I shouldn't be doing ministry with you and seeing you 3 times a week and know nothing about your life, if you have siblings, what some of your dreams are, your pet peeves, etc. That's sad and I'm guilty of it.

We don't exactly have to be the Acts communities of believers, but if we're around each other for just about half of the week, I should know your middle name, what you want to be when you grow up and the worse thing your older brother/sister ever did to you...

Does anyone out there agree with me?

Nothing much....

Sorry. It's been a week since I updated this blog. But that's mostly because I have nothing to say. At least, I have nothing complete to say. Here are some bullet points, though:

• I'm writing a new song. I've actually got a verse and the chorus done, so it's off to a good start. Hopefully, I'll get it done soon.
• Question of the week: If your body is the temple of the Lord, what part of YOUR body is the holy of holies?
• Israel Houghton's new album is a little "all over the place," but has some GREAT stuff on it. My favorites are "I Know Who I Am" and "I Will Search." This album is more CCM than his past albums, which are more of a gospel/ccm hybrid.

Trying Something New

Hey Readers (all 2 of you)!

I'm back after a brief hiatus. I went on vacation - a caribbean cruise. But I'm back now and ready to blog again.

So, I got back into Southern California on Friday afternoon and that night I sang at First Fridays. First Fridays is an awesome ministry that brings Christian artists (singers, musicians, poets, actors) together to share their gifts. It's not just a talent show. People actually get saved at this monthly event. It's great!

Anyway, Terri, my roomate (and agent), volunteered me and Candiss to sing our song at First Fridays a few weeks ago. My immediate reaction was "Absolutely not!" I had no interest in doing it. I mentioned above that First Fridays is a excellent ministry, but the crowd is mostly 20 something men and women who are into gospel/r&b/rap and I just KNEW my little acoustic guitar-driven song was going to be laughed off the stage and me right along with it. I was being dramatic, of course, and was talked into doing it anyway (thanks Stef), but this brings me to something I've come to learn and accept about myself.

I am NOT a performer. I wouldn't even call myself a singer. I couldn't get too excited about singing at FF because I have no desire to be on stage wowing an audience. And the only reason I did it (other than the fact that Stef/Terri/Kelvin told me to) is because "I Wait" (the song Candiss and I wrote) has a great message and it is a pretty good song. I wanted to share that message. If I were just asked to sing any old random song, I probably wouldn't have done it.

I am not a performer. I am not a singer (meaning, I'm not good enough nor am I striving to be winning any Grammy's). I am a worshipper. I'm not knocking performers or singers. Many of the Christian artists I like give good shows and thank God they are amazing vocalists. But I know me. My heart is for worship. I enjoy leading worship in front of a congregation of people. But I'm also fine standing behind the leader or with the choir.

All that being said, singing at First Fridays with Candiss was a lot of fun (after I got over the nervousness) and people actually did seem to accept the song and the message we were trying to share. The conclusion? Though, I'm not a singer or a performer, God can still use me in a performance setting. And that's pretty cool.